My 1st X-mas and 1st Vet Trip

The year continued as followed and I began to grow.  I was white with light beige spots at birth.  As I grew, momma cat began to think I was getting sloppy when I was eating.  Her and the girl would rub my face like crazy.  What is wrong with these people and their need to meddle in my own affairs.  I didn't understand why they were so concerned until I noticed the beige patches were getting darker and I was getting these orange patches.  Apparently I had these orange patches all around my mouth leading them to think I was dirty. Sigh...these humans should have paid more attention in science classes.

Soon it began to get cold outside and my people put up this fake green tree.  It had lights and things on it, but that wasn't the best part.  I could spy on them from under the tree.  I hid under the presents and had the best stalking spot EVER.  I love being under the Christmas tree.  I will spend the entire time under it.  It is a safe spot, a touch of the outside even if it is fake.  Even better, there are cat stockings with presents usually from the girl in it.

The problem with the Christmas tree means that it is cold season.  I have this sneaky feeling that if I lived outside, I would probably be dead by now.  I suppose I should be thankful to the girl, but that would be admitting I had a nice heart.  The cold usually made me hack, sniffle and snot.  Turns out, my people, not so fond of my snot on their stuff.  So that brought my first trip to the vet.  I don't think the vet is a great a place as they would like you to believe.

I get captured by the girl.  Great, I am being hunted in my own house.  When she does catch me, she forces me into a cage and lastly into the car.  At the vet, they want to take my temperature.  Now remember kiddies, humans get a thermometer in their mouths or ear.  Not cats...no, we don't get things so simple.  We get a thermometer up our ass.  Yup. A cold piece of metal in a place I certainly DO NOT want anyone touching.  The words I have for both my people and the vet, I cannot write here on this blog, but I believe George Carlin did a skit involving them.  And then they wonder why I'm angry and hissing?  How about I put some cold metal up your ass and you tell me how it feels?  Unless you are person into that sort of putting metal up your bum, I think you might mind it.  Just a hunch...

After some other awful vet procedures such as shots, I got some yummy yummy medicine.  Not yummy, not fun, not any good word I can think of.  The best part of this whole trip was the vet finally said I was a girl.  The only good thing about this man is that when he lifts a tail, he actually knows what he is looking at.  Amen.  I am no longer Keeko, but now Keeka.  I am free!  The world now knows I have a vagina!  Awesome.

My retaliation for the vet trip and the being treated like a boy?  Every time the man tried to put medicine down my throat, I would drool and dribble it all back onto his clothes.  Score once for the cat!  Besides, during the day when no one was around, I was usually blowing my nose on his clothes.  Hah!

If I thought the vet was bad, I didn't know what was yet to come.