Cats are very self sufficient. We keep to ourselves. We do not prostrate ourselves like dogs, ugh. We do our business in a box, neat and tidy. Seriously ungrateful humans, would you rather clean up a box full of shit where it is actually all contained in the litter or put your hand, albeit with a thin garbage bag on it, around a nice, warm lump of shit?
We also clean ourselves. We do not need baths, though you insist we do. We do not need our noses blown. We do not need you in any capacity for cleaning. Why do you insist that we need your help?
The girl enemy came to pet me today and noticed the bridge of my nose was a touch dirty. I knew it was dirty. It was on my list of things to do. With nothing interesting to do in the house, I try to space out my to do list. Cleaning was scheduled for 1:00 P.M. Instead she grabs me. Notice a trend here? She loves to grab me. I do not love to be grabbed. I equate it to sleeping in my own urine.
I get dragged to the bathroom to see my favorite person, momma cat. Somehow it is arranged that momma cat takes a baby wipe (note: baby wipe, I am NOT a baby) and wipes my nose! She begins to scrub the bridge of my nose to get the "dirt." Do I look like I want baby powder scented cloth up my nostrils? Do I think it smells good? No. Was my nose dirty? No. It's a bruise from that hack of a cat who hit me in the face.
My revenge for this brazen act of human stupid? I made sure I rubbed my very sheddy self all over the laundry. Hah. Take that people! Now go rewash your clothes.
No comments:
Post a Comment