For the Only Person I Love

Dear Momma Cat/Dog,

Due to budget cuts in both our departments because we were forced to take on an additional expense, this year's Valentine's Day card is written from both camps on this piece of paper.

All four of us love you very much. Us cats, however, cannot speak for Jax as he is the enemy. The dogs state that Jax does indeed love you.

The dogs thank you for allowing them in for the winter. Miss Cookie's bum toots in great appreciation of your hospitality. As you know chihuahua-beagles are not bred to sit in the snow. Teddy wishes to apologize for his recent fence hopping habits, but he claims that he cannot possibly contain himself when he sees a bird or a squirrel.

Elvis would like to say that he is grateful for his tail massages even though he is too afraid to come out most days due to his agoraphobia. I refuse to apologize for anything I have done. Consider this a notification of my protest to that ugly lump of gray fur laying on my spot on the bed. Since Elvis nor the dogs will help me in my assault, I must seek justice on my own.

I end this card by saying that though I love you and you are by far my favorite person in the house, you have not gotten rid of that thing. I hate him more than I hated Elvis. I love you always momma cat, but unfortunately war always comes with civilian casualties.

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Love,
Keeka
(and those other ingrates)

P.S. I will try not to pee on your bed....
At least not on your side.